1.每个成功男人的背后，都有个折磨他的女人。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman torturing him.
2.你我都是单翼天使，唯有彼此拥抱才能展翅飞翔。可当我千辛万苦地找到你后却发现：咱俩的翅膀是一顺边的.。
You and I are angels with only one wing each. We can only fly by embracing each other. But sadly, after I went to all the trouble of finding you and embracing you, I found out that our wings are on the same side.
3.旅行就是从自己呆腻的地方到别人呆腻的地方去。
Traveling is going from a place that you're sick of to a place other people are sick of.
4.小时候过中秋，嫦娥的故事总是听不进去，心里老想着月饼；现在年纪大了，一过中秋，月饼吃不进去了，心里总惦记着嫦娥。
Celebrating Moon Festival as a kid, I could never really pay attention to the story of the lady on the moon, because I was always thinking about eating moon cakes. Now that I'm older, I can't get excited about eating moon cakes, because I'm thinking about the lady on the moon!
5.吃自助餐最高境界：扶墙进，扶墙出。
The pinnacle of buffet dining is: stagger in starving, stagger out stuffed.
6.一分钟有多长？那要看你是蹲在厕所里面还是等在厕所外面。
How long is a minute? That depends on whether you're sitting on the toilet, or waiting outside the bathroom!
7.挤公车的时候不小心抬了一下脚，马上就后悔了，因为发现没地方放下去了。
Riding on the bus, I stupidly raised my foot a bit. I regretted it immediately-- there was no place to put it back down!
8.连贝克汉姆都不知道，你还有什么资格跟我谈篮球！
You don't even know Beckham-- how dare you talk about basketball with me！
